Sunday's Sequel

To continue where I left off last time ...... I believe that as I was growing up I had no interest in school...it was just a way to meet girls and play sports....and today I was thinking that because I did not have any motivation during those school years to study to push myself to do more than get a barely passing grade...I think that is why I am at where I am at today (referring to job and life). I am not putting down all people who clean but as I look back it sure as hell is not what I would have hoped to be doing when I grew up. Self esteem issue here...hmmm maybe ...just more of the attitude coming out of what it going on in my head on a daily basis. Also, with reference to life. I did not push myself as a kid growing up, so I do not push myself now when I am all grown up (hmmm). I also realize it is not too late to change the way things are...Just like mind games can drag us down into senseless pity parties our minds can also lead us to do so much more than we could probably imagine. There was a book out a few decades ago called The Power of Positive Thinking"...and I do think that those positive thoughts that we capture can make all the difference in the world in our daily life. Just like the negative thoughts will do the same only take us in the opposite direction ......makes me wonder here (some will be reading this next line and thinking what an idiot - like I care - strictly opinion here) I wonder if people who suffer from depression are those who struggle a lot with negative thoughts that they are dealing with or not dealing with now, or a bunch of negative shit they went through when they were young, (my mini sermon on depression - just F'n tired of our "take a pill for whatever the F ails you" mentality). I, for one, am not the type to go and read a self-help book, I believe we can do anything if we set our minds to it, you don't need a book to tell you what you already know. So having said that, I am still back at square one, at least until I decide whether to act on any of those daily questions in my head. It's like the participaction commercial from years ago...Don't just think about it, do, it , do it. I need that motivation, I need that challenge, that sense of "I can do it, and I will prove it attitude. I will update as I decide whether or not to act out what I think would be for the better. Feel free to comment, tell me where to go, or give some motivational speech ;)