One small step, one big tumble.

Had lots of time to think this past weekend driving to Minneapolis, but it was a time of one step forward, two steps back....one questioned answered, two more questions asked. Did lots of thinking about God, religion, etc. Thought about how we are influenced by our upbringing about what we believe. Whether Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, Mormon, Jew or Atheist....we are very much influenced by how our parents brought us up in that belief/surrounding. We don't (most of us) question what we believe at that point, some of us don't even question it now. We just assume that our parents are telling us that this is the truth and this is what you need to believe to be "a good person" in life or who/what you need to follow to get to heaven or the equivalent (depending on your faith or lack of). After all, surely our parents would not lie to us about something so important??? So as we grow up, we believe that our religion, or our God is "the one", and everyone elses belief system is wrong (probably even more so in the Christian faith because of the exclusivity of Christ - the only way). It is only recently for me, that I am questioning my faith to see if this is "for real", and not my daddy's faith. There is so much of what is in the Bible that requires faith. Not too much room for logic or reason if your thinking tends to take you along those lines. So many more questions that you once took for granted, but when you stop and think about them you wonder....do I really believe this stuff. Some of this stuff is pretty far fetched when you think about it (I guess this is where faith comes in). I remember watching an episode of All in the Family years ago and in one episode Archie Bunker describes faith as "...believing in something that nobody in his right mind would believe." Maybe I will look for a book and see how others answer these perplexing questions I have. Just wish I had done this (questioning of faith) when I was younger, but for the most part just glad to be doing it even now. Even at Bible College I was never challenged to think about what I believe, but to just have faith and God will show you. I am a realist and skeptic by nature, so that thinking just does not work for me, or, I suppose, it just makes it harder for me. Even in my experiences at church, I find I will listen (when I used to attend church) to what is being said, but never question what is being said or challenge it. I just assume the preacher is speaking and interpreting God's word to all who are there. I need to question these things.
Some of my latest "God Questions" (as I call them), are.....

Why create a people where at some point there is a possibility of hell at the end for some?

When I think of what I learned as a kid in Sunday School or in Bible College, I think there is a lot of really far fetched stuff to believe in, and I suppose not really much different than maybe some of the far fetched beliefs of other World Religions. I am not saying that I don't believe in what the Bible tells us, but am just saying there are lots of things that to me are really "off the wall". For instance, the virgin birth, the fact that God always was, the resurrection, heaven and hell, and the second coming.....just to name a few.

I have not abandoned the faith, just showing where I am struggling and questioning. I believe it is all part of all the other shit I am going through at this time. I wonder if my parents ever questioned what they believed, or did it just pass on down the line from their parents, etc etc etc......