Maybe it is no wonder that I think I am going crazy. I just spewed off a lot of the thoughts to someone, that I have been having over and over in my head for the last few days. Life is going so damn fast, no time to blink. Anyway, where to start. Well, lets start with God, because I know that He may be the one stirring up these ideas in my head to get me to think, then again, it could be just me and my mind wanting to know answers to all of this shit.
#1 - I was thinking that if I were a Christian (jury still out - mine anyway) should my life be like it is. In a nutshell... (lets call it the pursuit of the "Canadian dream) hmmmm...eat, sleep, shit, and work, and TV watching which probably fits in with shit anyways. Make money and still pursue things that are pointless. More on that later. That is my life, the simple life, or the useless life at least at this point. Then I was thinking... Do some (note some)other Christians live the same way. Same points that I listed as above, but they go to church. The point I am getting at is ....is this really what God intended for me or for others in this same boat. Is the Christian life as a simple as saying "the prayer" and then you are in. My belief is no. What follows "the prayer" (to me) is a life long commitment to God and His will for me. What is it? What is my "purpose"? I have no freaking clue. More to come. I am 100% sure though that it is not the way things are now. The Christian life is more than sleep, work and "fuck all" at night (Internet, watch TV, yard work, etc). Do we just happen to be more "blessed" in North America than the guy in India who believes what we do and is living in such horrible conditions??? Luke 12:48 says, "From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked."
#2 - I thought about how when you have kids at home, your life revolves around them, not each other. Almost everything you do on weekends or weeknights revolves around your kids. They have hockey, basketball, piano, dance, soccer, baseball and just about every other thing that you can imagine. Seems to me like keeping them busy just to keep them out of trouble. This is all looking back thinking. As a kid growing up, I did a lot of these sports, but with other kids in the park, not an organized outing. My parents would have gone crazy trying to drive 8 kids to all the different events, let alone fork out hundreds of dollars for these events. Just as an aside, I wonder what changed that made us, as parents, feel the need to keep our kids so busy. Then when they leave the house, what a difference it makes, because what life used to revolve around, is no longer there. It really does change the whole dynamics. You go from busy busy busy to (in my case) laze around and do nothing. Just speaking toward my own perspective of the empty nest - 6 years later.
#3. While most of us would probably admit we would like to have more money, we probably do have more than enough for what we need. I was thinking of all the waste, as far as spending that is done. I will speak to my own spending on here. From a Christian perspective, how do I spend my money. We all have bills to pay and mortgage or rent due (those bills that everyone has) but how do I spend some of my "excess cash". I need new furniture or a new dishwasher. Do I really? The grass outside looks pretty brown, maybe I should waste money on watering it? It is only freaking grass, yet what a waste of money for something that does not matter in the list of "things that have meaning" category. I think of all that water wasted and the money spent, and then I thought of people living in countries where water is something they need to walk miles for. Something is really wrong with this picture.
I am pretty sure that God does not give a rip if I have green grass or the best of the best stuff.
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