Mid life Part II

Here is the second part of the article on midlife crisis. Nice to know it is only three short parts ;) Hmmm, which mask do I wear today ;) Obviously not much has changed either for me in the past couple of weeks, but then I am not expecting it to either, at least not that quickly. The last week or so I have been to busy to think about it...not the answer, I know....but a good thing nevertheless, because there are times where you reaching a breaking point and really not thinking clearly enough (so a change is as good as a rest)...for now, MLC stuff has been shoved to the back of my brain to be dealt with at a later time...if at all.


Separation
The first stage of mid-life involves a questioning of the personae presented to others in the first 30/40/50 years of life.

Think of a persona as a mask, and recognise that different masks are worn in different situations. In separation, one takes off the masks and looks at them, asking questions such as:

Who is the person underneath the mask?
Are these masks appropriate?
Do they show others what I am really like, or do they present a false picture?
Do they show me what I am really like?
What am I like?
In Myers Briggs terms, this might involve questioning one's personality type. For example, an extrovert who is aware of his type might ask:

Am I really an extrovert?
Is my extrovert behaviour a reflection of my own preferences?
Am I acting like an extrovert because that is what my parents or everyone else expect (or have expected) me to do?
Liminality
The questioning of the personae leads to a large degree of uncertainty - a psychological 'no-man's land'. The old personae have been rejected, perhaps only temporarily, but no new personae have been put in their place. One can therefore feel:

uncertain about 'who I am'
lacking in direction, and unsure how to go forward
apprehensive about making rash, life-changing decisions
fearful about whether this uncertainty is ever going to end
In Myers Briggs terms, the individual may be unsure about his/her type, and seek views and feedback from sources outside of him/her self.

Reintegration
Eventually, the uncertainty lessens, new personae are adopted (usually, more in harmony with what is happening 'within') and what remains uncertain feels quite comfortable (or even an essential part of living). During reintegration, one:

develops a better understanding of 'who I am'
adopts appropriate personae and roles, and re-assesses them on an ongoing basis
retains some sense of liminality (uncertainty)
becomes more comfortable with oneself and others being the way they are
In Myers Briggs terms, the person may finally discover his/her 'true type', and be comfortable that it is a genuine reflection of inner preferences.