Politcally incorrect

Sometimes, well most times, I get so tired of the way that we have become a society or a people of political correctness, even in the church. It has gotten to the point where we can't say what we want anymore for fear of offending people. Instead of upsetting the masses we put things in "nice terms" so that we can just get along. I never pictured Jesus as the poster boy for "political correctness magazine". I really have come to appreciate the Don Cherry's and Andy Rooney's of this world, who really don't give a rip what others think of what they have to say. Sure, there are times when they may get censored by the networks, but they still continue the next time to express their opinion. So here is a rant by Andy Rooney from awhile back. After reading it I thought, it is nice to be able to speak ones mind without reprisal.

Andy Rooney...Not Politically Correct, but Correct
Andy Rooney said on "60 Minutes" a few weeks back:

I don't think being a minority makes you a victim of anything except numbers. The only things I can think of that are truly discriminatory are things like the United Negro College Fund, Jet Magazine, Black Entertainment Television, and Miss Black America. Try to have things like the United Caucasian College Fund, Cloud Magazine, White Entertainment Television, or Miss White America; and see what happens...Jesse Jackson will be knocking down your door.

Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game.

I believe they are called the Boy Scouts for a reason, that is why there are no girls allowed. Girls belong in the Girl Scouts! ARE YOU LISTENING MARTHA BURKE?

I think that if you feel homosexuality is wrong, it is not a phobia, it is an opinion.

I have the right "NOT" to be tolerant of others because they are different, weird, or tick me off.

When 70% of the people who get arrested are black, in cities where 70% of the population is black, that is not racial profiling, it is the Law of Probability.

I believe that if you are selling me a milkshake, a pack of cigarettes, a newspaper or a hotel room, you must do it in English! As a matter of fact, if you want to be an American citizen, you should have to speak English!

My father and grandfather didn't die in vain so you can leave the countries you were born in to come over and disrespect ours.

I think the police should have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you threaten them after they tell you to stop. If you can't understand the word "freeze" or "stop" in English, see the above lines.

I don't think just because you were not born in this country, you are qualified for any special loan programs, government sponsored bank loans or tax breaks, etc., so you can open a hotel, coffee shop, trinket store, or any other business.

We did not go to the aid of certain foreign countries and risk our lives in wars to defend their freedoms, so that decades later they could come over here and tell us our constitution is a living document; and open to their interpretations.

I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.

I know pro wrestling is fake, but so are movies and television. That doesn't stop you from watching them.

I think Bill Gates has every right to keep every penny he made and continue to make more. If it ticks you off, go and invent the next operating system that's better, and put your name on the building.

It doesn't take a whole village to raise a child right, but it does take a parent to stand up to the kid; and smack their little behinds when necessary, and say "NO!"

I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please don't pretend they are a political statement. And, please, stay home until that new lip ring heals. I don't want to look at your ugly infected mouth as you serve me French fries!

I am sick of "Political Correctness." I know a lot of black people, and not a single one of them was born in Africa; so how can they be "African-Americans"? Besides, Africa is a continent. I don't go around saying I am a European-American because my great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather was from Europe.

I am proud to be from America/Canada and nowhere else And if you don't like my point of view, tough...

Daily Dilemma

One of the things I have been experiencing a lot of lately is how I can go from seeing God to seeing only things I want. The two songs tell how one day I can see God in not only nature but in people I meet. The next day or sometimes the next hour I see the selfishness in me and what I want, not really caring to know that God is there. Just something I thought about, even after I commented yesterday about how seeing two different people who profess Christ, can either turn a person away or toward God.

Moving on

For those wondering, Sunday's post was deleted as it was very offensive to some, and I will not post those entries again on this blog. For those concerned on how I am doing, (without going into detail) I am managing my stuff. I am sure given time, I will be fine. In denial? No, I don't think so. This is just how I am dealing with things.

Figured I would throw in a lighter musical number, I still have my sense of humour.
I'm still a guy - Brad Paisley

Cause and Effect or Change and Affect

I actually took 5 minutes to think about how the past week has been for me. I was listening to the song posted at the top of this page, and while I thought, sure, I miss my youth and all the dreams and plans I had it does not mean I cannot make new plans, set new goals, and still dream about the things I would like. (Whether or not that sounds selfish, I could care less). I thought about some of the changes that took place in the last 5 - 10 years that have had some "profound" effect on me. One of the changes was Chris moving out almost 6 years ago to head off to university, creating the empty nest. Don't get me wrong, I love the empty nest, but it did create a change in the house. As a parent, for the most part, your life revolves around your kids. I believe you spend more time (from the time your kids are born to the time the nest is empty) involved in the lives of them, than with your spouse (I am sure there will be some disagreement here too, but then again we did not agree when I said I believe that most (80%) of men's eyes wander). We go through so many changes, even as couples. When you are first married, for the most part, it is just the two of you. After kids come into the picture ( whether expected or not), it is another change, it is not longer just the two of you. For some, at this time, dreams and goals are put on hold because of life's new addition. Then, after the kids leave the home, it is another change...back to just the two of you. Then, if you are like me, and be thankful you are not, you start to wondering where the hell life went as well as all of the dreams and goals and ambition you had 20 years earlier. Hmmm, all that to say that this is one of the areas where I feel change has changed me. The other area that has changed me, and certainly not for the better is death....but I think I will cover that another time because I have intentionally pushed that way back into the cave ;)

Life sucks right now!!!

Had a good weekend away this past weekend, visiting with some family and friends. Talked about a lot of the stuff I am going through and maybe even some of the "solutions" or possible steps to take to get things back together. Not thinking spiritually here, just life in general and all the other things that are going on with me. Was good to open up and be honest about what is really going on, and not giving a rip about whether or not it would change their opinion of me because of things I have thought about or stuff I am going through. I mean I certainly don't want people who are going to agree with me in what I do or think, but I sure as heck don't want the opposite where people don't like how I am these days because of what I have been thinking about. Over the next couple of weeks I will make some decisions on steps that I feel I need to take to get things back to Hmmmm "normal"...
or otherwise.

Thought some more about some of the things I have been experiencing that were mentioned in that article on ML:

Discontent with life and/or the lifestyle that may have provided happiness for many years.

Boredom with things/people that have hitherto held great interest and dominated your life

Feeling adventurous and wanting to do something completely different

Questioning the meaning of life, and the validity of decisions clearly and easily made years before

Confusion about who you are, or where your life is going.

When I re-read those 5 points over, they all tie together.
I am not suicidal. I was asked that lately if that was an option, and I am not at that point. I would more likely go and travel and live it up rather than take my own life. After all if I am "going to hell", well then lets eat, drink and etc.

Because I am discontent with life I am at the point where I want to be adventurous, and try a bunch of things that are very different. I guess that is why I am taking a p/t job, starting later this month so that I can save money to travel with. (I just thought...am I subconsciously making decisions already)

I feel it is definitely time to find a new f/t job, because I almost feel counterproductive doing what I am doing in the place I am doing it. I don't hate the church. I see the good that it does but because I am "not there", I almost feel uncomfortable being here. A job is a job...a change may be as good as a rest for me right now. I find it next to impossible to attend any of the staff meetings (so I haven't). Also, glad I have not yet been ordered to attend either :) It is much easier to just do work during that time then to pray. Those who can .....

I can really sense the confusion about who I am right now and wondering where my life is going. I really believe that this is not only Mid life, but also male menopause and possibly depression...I am sure they are all the same, just a different name. I should check out the symptoms of the latter two. I know that it still comes down to my choice as to where my life is going, and I have still not decided. All I know is it cannot stay the same for long or I will end up making a rash decision rather than a thought out "plan".

Mid life Part II

Here is the second part of the article on midlife crisis. Nice to know it is only three short parts ;) Hmmm, which mask do I wear today ;) Obviously not much has changed either for me in the past couple of weeks, but then I am not expecting it to either, at least not that quickly. The last week or so I have been to busy to think about it...not the answer, I know....but a good thing nevertheless, because there are times where you reaching a breaking point and really not thinking clearly enough (so a change is as good as a rest)...for now, MLC stuff has been shoved to the back of my brain to be dealt with at a later time...if at all.


Separation
The first stage of mid-life involves a questioning of the personae presented to others in the first 30/40/50 years of life.

Think of a persona as a mask, and recognise that different masks are worn in different situations. In separation, one takes off the masks and looks at them, asking questions such as:

Who is the person underneath the mask?
Are these masks appropriate?
Do they show others what I am really like, or do they present a false picture?
Do they show me what I am really like?
What am I like?
In Myers Briggs terms, this might involve questioning one's personality type. For example, an extrovert who is aware of his type might ask:

Am I really an extrovert?
Is my extrovert behaviour a reflection of my own preferences?
Am I acting like an extrovert because that is what my parents or everyone else expect (or have expected) me to do?
Liminality
The questioning of the personae leads to a large degree of uncertainty - a psychological 'no-man's land'. The old personae have been rejected, perhaps only temporarily, but no new personae have been put in their place. One can therefore feel:

uncertain about 'who I am'
lacking in direction, and unsure how to go forward
apprehensive about making rash, life-changing decisions
fearful about whether this uncertainty is ever going to end
In Myers Briggs terms, the individual may be unsure about his/her type, and seek views and feedback from sources outside of him/her self.

Reintegration
Eventually, the uncertainty lessens, new personae are adopted (usually, more in harmony with what is happening 'within') and what remains uncertain feels quite comfortable (or even an essential part of living). During reintegration, one:

develops a better understanding of 'who I am'
adopts appropriate personae and roles, and re-assesses them on an ongoing basis
retains some sense of liminality (uncertainty)
becomes more comfortable with oneself and others being the way they are
In Myers Briggs terms, the person may finally discover his/her 'true type', and be comfortable that it is a genuine reflection of inner preferences.

Mid-life Mind-set

Lately I have been blaming my change in mood/attitude in life on "Mid-life crisis". Found an article that talks about MLC, but it is rather long. I even read most of it ;) There were quite a few times where it hit the nail right on the head (especailly when I read some of the "symptoms" of it). Not sure where this (MLC) will lead me ... back to "normal" (where I was before MLC), or off the deep end ... which is where I feel headed. Will let you know.
There are a couple of more articles I may post in the next week.


'Midlife Crisis' is something that happens to many of us at some point during our lives (usually, at about 40, give or take 20 years).

Midlife Crisis is a natural process (first identified by the psychologist Carl Jung) and it is a normal part of 'maturing'. However, Midlife Crisis can sometimes feel very uncomfortable, and cause people to seek psychotherapy or counselling, or to make radical lifestyle changes that can be very damaging and are regretted later.

It can help to view Midlife Crisis from the perspective of differing personality types, as this will give you a greater understanding of what is happening.

"Symptoms" of MLC: If you are going through midlife crisis, you might experience a wide range of feelings, such as:

Discontent with life and/or the lifestyle that may have provided happiness for many years
Boredom with things/people that have hitherto held great interest and dominated your life
Feeling adventurous and wanting to do something completely different
Questioning the meaning of life, and the validity of decisions clearly and easily made years before
Confusion about who you are, or where your life is going.
These feelings at mid-life can occur naturally, or they can be brought on by external factors.

One external factor can be debt. The availability of credit has become easier in recent years, through credit cards and telephone/Internet loans. This has made it easier to accumulate debt, and many people turn to debt consolidation or debt management services in order to find their way out of difficulty.

Another external factor can be a bereavement, such as the death of a parent - or other significant loss or change, such as redundancy or divorce. These things can cause significant grief which can be difficult enough to come to terms with on their own. But if they are compounded by the natural process of 'mid-life transition' this can make the whole process of adjustment bewildering and overwhelming.

However, even in the absence of difficult external circumstances, there is still an internal process of change that takes place during midlife. If you don't understand that process it can feel like a 'crisis' and as you attempt to come to terms with it, you may find yourself making poor or irrational decisions that you regret at a later date - eg: leaving your job or spouse and throwing away the security that you have built up in the first part of your adult life.

If you do understand the process of midlife transition, it can make it easier (though still not easy) to navigate your way through it.

The second page in this article will give you an overview of that process, particularly from the personality type perspective. However, if you are finding midlife difficult to deal with, it is worth considering psychotherapy or counselling, as these services can help you steer your way through difficult midlife circumstances without going off the rails.

Carl Jung identified 5 main phases of midlife:

Accommodation (meeting others' expectations - actually, this takes place in the first part of life, but is the context in which midlife processes take place)
Separation (rejecting the accommodated self)
Liminality (a period of uncertainty, where life seems directionless and meanders)
Reintegration (working out 'who I am' and becoming comfortable with that identity)
Individuation (facing up to and accepting the undesirable aspects of our own character)
Over the next few short pages, we'll take a look at each of these stages in more depth.

Accommodation
In the popularised version of Carl Jungs scheme (ie the Myers Briggs model of personality) it is assumed that our preferences are innate - they are with us from birth and not influenced by the environment. What is influenced by the environment is our behaviour and our perception of ourselves. These are influenced by many factors, such as parents, siblings, other children at nursery school, television, the surroundings to our early childhood, etc..

As young children, eager to please, we adapt to those around us, in order to be accepted by them. Our behaviour and perception of ourselves is therefore modified in order to 'fit in' with the various social situations in which we find ourselves. This process, which Jung called 'Accommodation', results in us presenting ourselves as different people in different situations, called 'personae'. As in Greek tragedy, we put on a mask to demonstrate to others how we think we are feeling inside.

Sometimes, the way in which we 'accommodate' to others is different to our true preferences. As an example: suppose a child born with introvert preferences finds that she has to be very extrovert in order to get the love and attention that she needs as a young child. As she grows into adulthood, she continues to act like an extrovert, and believes that she is an extrovert. The real preference for introversion is not recognised. There can also be cultural, social or environmental pressure to behave in certain ways, and these create a "tug o' war" with our self-perceptions. An example is shown in the diagram. In this case, the pressures, and therefore his personae, may lean so heavily towards introversion that he may believe that he is an introvert, whilst his real preference is for extroversion.

It can sometimes take a lot of energy to maintain these personae if they are in conflict with our true preferences. Jung spent much of his life counselling people who had 'accommodated' to become people different to their inner preferences. For these people, mid-life transition can sometimes be a difficult and painful process.

Sometimes there is little difference between our 'true selves' and the personae we present to others. Such people may find mid life transition a less difficult process than those individuals whose personae and inner self are quite different.